The Choking Game – For Your Pleasure

In an act that mirrors the sexual fetishes of mature women (and some men), children are choking themselves to get off. The choking game, as it is called, occurs in groups and sometimes alone. Kids get together and choke each other until just before they pass out. If alone, children are using ropes and extricating themselves from the noose just before they pass out. When that fails, they extricate themselves from 6 feet under. That too, often fails.

The high stems from the blood rushing back into the brain after being choked. The low stems from the brain damage and knowledge that you’re a moron that just choked yourself.

In some darwinian fatalities, the deaths have been mis-labelled as suicides. Usually it is the rope that tips off the detective. Some bodies have been found with ejaculate in the vicinity meaning that the recently deceased was really choking himself.

Originally read in this New York Times Article.

But the exact number remains uncertain because there has been little real research, health professionals say, and because medical examiners have been quick in the past to rule suicide. Some adults might also dismiss the game as the slumber party goof it was in years past, when constriction to the point of death was virtually unheard of.

They’re just being kids!

“He’s smelling perfume and gasoline,” Mr. Draher said with a smile.

Next up, huffing.

So You’re Fat and Summer is Coming?

You’re also in luck! Because here is a list of unintentional ways to lose weight. These steps might not seem like much, but taken together they add up to significant caloric expenditure. The best part is that they are free and relatively effortless.

• Park the car far away from your destination and walk.
• Take the stairs… UP!
• Eliminate soda, coffee, iced tea (Nestea and Lipton crap) and juice.
• Drink water.
• Eat an apple. The energy it takes to digest said apple is more than actually consumed!
• Stop eating fast food. If you eat that stuff you are pretty much retarded, so I would highly doubt you read this sophisticated blog. And Chipotle is fast food. One Chicken Burrito is upwards of 1,000 calories!
• Don’t eat chinese.

Finally, if you just cannot seem to kill those cravings, take Sugarest. Containing Gymnema Sylvestre, Sugarest is a tablet that, as it dissolves in your mouth also dissolves your ability to taste sweets. Pop one right before eating ice cream and you won’t want any after the first spoonful. Because it affects the taste buds, it also affects the taste of cigarettes, which makes it helpful for smoking cessation as well.